![]() Push to return to Black Rose Home Page |
|
The
Secret Caverns CHAPTER ONE A Penny for your thoughts.
|
|||||
|
James was a pretty boy .... no doubt about that ... beautiful hazel eyes that could see into your soul ... long black eyelashes ... natural ash blond hair ... ... small in stature ... slim, no, perhaps wiry would be a better description ... as fit as a butcher's dog ... fed on red meat and big on attitude ... with an insatiable appetite for all things new which attracted the girls like pussycats to catnip .... and perhaps we should also mention at this point ... still a virgin. Celebrating his eighteenth birthday ... and still a virgin?
Well, not strictly speaking, there had been that one time when he was
fifteen and had been plied with strong liquor by this older
'put-it-about-a-lot' woman who had led him astray and had had her wicked
way with him down some dark back alleyway.
Every day without fail the delicious Penny would travel from drawing
office to drawing office delivering blueprints, in much the same way as
those blonde dolly-birds would drive from car repair shop to car repair
shop delivering their spare motor parts, and driving the local mechanics
crazy, with their skimpy uniforms.
"It was my birthday yesterday," James interjected as he came up for air
between bouts of head-spinning snogging at one of their daily sessions.
"Are you on holiday, next week, same as us lesser workers, or are you
superior Drawing Office staff different?" Penny asked, rearranging her
clothing to its work-a-day style, and getting ready to continue her
travels round the various offices.
"The rope's for climbing, the ladder's for going down caves and the book
was the original Potholer's Bible which listed all the known caves ...
from way back goodness knows when."
After work James cycled back towards Baycliffe Island and called
in to see Mr Butler, a local fisherman who he knew drove his van to
Lancaster every Saturday morning to deliver the shrimps and cockles he
had harvested throughout the week on the tidal sands around Baycliffe
Island. Competition was fierce, however, from the hoards of illegal immigrant cockle pickers who had descended on the tranquil-looking Bay to exploit the bountiful harvest, for the little cash money that the gang bosses begrudgingly paid to them.
Day and night they came, in all weathers, most of them totally oblivious to the danger of being cut off on a sandbank by fast rising tides and subsequently downed, especially on a dark stormy night. All the locals knew this was a catastrophe just waiting to happen. Still, James had always felt safe with Mr Butler who knew every nook and cranny of the ever-changing Bay, and had always treated her moody ways with the utmost respect.
It was Mr Butler who had shown a much younger James how to tread for
flat-fish with his bare feet in the shallow rock pools. Flat-fish?
That's Plaice to you ... or Flukes as they were called by the locals ...
but actually they were two distinct species ... Plaice had orange spots
and Fluke hadn't ... not that it mattered to anyone ... except maybe
another Plaice, and of course the Trading Standard Officials who
wouldn't let the fishermen sell Flukes. Plaice yes ...Flukes no.
Mr Butler said: "Of course I'll give you a lift to Lancaster
on Saturday, young James, but remember I will be setting off at about
four o'clock in the morning to get to the fish market bright and early.
And I can arrange a lift with my mate Bill Fowler to take you the rest
of the way up the Dales to Ingleton when he goes back over to Settle
with the fish for his market stall." Frequent signs left no doubt that this was a ..... WILDLIFE RESERVE RESTRICTED ACCESS Permit Holders Only All dogs must be kept on a lead by Order of
However, this had not deterred a group of local naturists from taking over a secluded beach on the remote far end of the Island where they would bathe topless in the warm Summer sunshine, at every opportunity that presented itself.
James arrived home to be greeted by a whirlwind of excited barking dog
who threatened to knock him off his bicycle, as she hurled herself at
her young master, with unrestrained joy.
"Soft as putty with people," James thought, "lick them to death, but put
so much as one foot inside our house, or one finger on my mum ... and
you'd get it bitten off in a trice."
They walked together along the deserted pebble beach, a young man and
his dog, soaking up the solitude and the warm Summer sunshine.
"WAROOOOOMPH" ... another one closely followed while Tornado the dog
made desperate attempts at jumping into the air in a futile attempt to
catch one of these new big noisy seagulls.
"Did he say meat?" thought Tornado, raising her ears and looking at
James with those big brown soulful eyes.
The 'bird-hide' was on the side of a sand dune overlooking the salt
flats which were one the primary feeding sites for migratory sea-birds
in mid-Winter, but this was mid-Summer and the only birds on the beach
now were wearing bikini briefs and very little else. |
|||||
|
|
|||||
|
|
|||||
|
|
|||||
|
The tide had come in as they wandered back along the beach for their
tea, each deep in thought, Tornado with her rabbits, and James imagining
what his birthday present off of our Penny might be, when they were both
rudely interrupted.
"God,
he really is low," he exploded to no one in particular, "they must be
getting really serious about something or other."
James beat a hasty retreat to the safety of his room and switched on his
computer to go on to the internet and swot up on climbing and caving and
such.
"Pity there isn't somewhere I could learn the facts-of-life as easily,"
he thought, not daring to try the porn channels again, because last time
he had done that he had gotten into one of these scam porn sites that
wouldn't let him get out again ... every time he clicked the close
button it threw up five more sites on the screen. He had to pull
the power plug on the computer in the end and then reboot it ... and
then it took him hours to delete all the spy scam porn cookies off his
hard drive before his mother could find out what he had been up to ...
once bitten twice shy.
Roll on Saturday. |
|||||
|
CHAPTER TWO Ernie's Café. Please Click the Green Refresh Button NOW |
||||||
|
|
It was still dark when James set off for Mr Butler's Farm, mum had made him some breakfast, "Bless her," and Tornado had stayed curled up in her basket with one disdainful eye peeping over the edge, watching his every move, for all the world saying, "It's the middle of the night, for woof's sake, what does a dog have to do to get some sleep round here?"
"Put your bike in the barn, James, and we're off," said a bright and
cheerful Mr Butler, him being a farmer and him being used to getting up
at such a 'god-damn' unearthly hour.
James, being overly-wise for his age, had long ago reached the conclusion that newspapers contained very little news anymore and would hype anything up, just to sell the newspaper, so he took most of what he read with a pinch of salt, well it was obvious that the papers never ever said "they are", it always asked "are they?" and concluded it was all 'Bollocks'.
The weather forecast was good, an anti-cyclone centred over the British
Isles would give fine sunny weather for at least a week, 'And a
week is all I need,' thought James, 'let's hope the weather forecaster
knows what he's doing,' remembering the time when one forecaster had
said: "There definitely won't be a hurricane over night," but by morning
half the Southern Counties had been flattened and a million trees
uprooted.
Bill Fowler was a real character, a blunt speaking gregarious Yorkshire
man with a fish stall on Settle Market. He kept James entertained with
his ample wit and local dialect all the way over to Yorkshire and
Ingleton village. Ernie's Café
It was just striking 9am on the church clock as James approached the
door, and heard it being unlocked from inside by a tall athletic-looking
man, who, not expecting anyone to be poised on his doorstep, quipped:
"You're bright and early!"
He was tucking into a huge plate of ... well ... everything that could
possibly be fried ... when Ernie came across.
"You remind me of someone, James, I just can't put my finger on it,
Janine," he yelled towards the kitchen, and when she appeared, "the lad
reminds me of someone but I can't put my finger on it, you've a good
memory for faces, any idea?"
"Can I see it?" said James, really meaning, "Can I hold it?"
"That's the only known photo of Black Rose Jed down Weathercold Cave. I really only put it up there to annoy those toffee-nosed geeks from Cravenford Pothole Club. They think they're God's gift to caving, the pillocks, but even they can't get to go down Weathercold Cave anymore... nobody can now."
"That photo was taken in an age when no one had ever heard of 'political
correctness' or the sick 'compensation culture' and a knock by a caver
on a farmer's door was all that was needed for permission for them to
visit any cave.
"Supposed to be Black Rose Jed exploring his caverns, but I very much
doubt it," Ernie said, "okay so it's very old but it's probably way
before his time, a hundred years or more before his time, at least.
They've been exploring potholes round here since time began."
"How's that then," asked James, pushing his luck.
"I guess it all came about when his childhood sweetheart met with a
tragic accident and died a few weeks before they were to be married.
Pretty young thing she was, and they were devoted to one another. Rumour
has it that Jed gave her a single red rose as a token of his everlasting
love, on a cold winter's evening after they had been out together, at
the local Cinema. Jed walked his sweetheart home, she was still living
with her parents of course, in those days, and she
"So, Ernie, I'm going to have to find something to do until the Happy
Ramblers get here, at tea time, any ideas about what I can do ...
is there anything around here worth seeing?"
and his memory brought the waterfalls to life. Click the Green Refresh Button NOW if the water isn't moving.
"Too far," groaned James, "I was up at three thirty this morning and I'm a bit knackered,
how far are the mountains?"
"And the Show Cave?" James knew the answer already.
"No, so I guess I'll go shopping then," sighed James.
"You could always do George's Old Cave," remembered Ernie, "that's only
just up the hill here, and it's quite pretty, from all accounts, an old
show cave, easy peasy."
"They do go on," confided Ernie, quietly, "but she's right, if you're
going caving on your own you must be very careful, and you can start by
putting this candle and matches in your pocket as an extra safeguard.
Up at White Scar Show Caves they say that Christopher Long, who found
the place in, when was it? ... 1929, I think? ... used only candles on
the brim of his bowler hat to find the Master Cave. They had guts in the
old days, and we still light a candle in memory of all the potholers who
have died over the years, drowned mostly, so you must never forget,
James, that these caves were made by water and in wet weather they flood
right up to the roof." He pointed at a small plaque pinned up on the
shop's notice board. |
|
||||
|
And there was light For our absent
friends |
||||||
|
James found the long walk up to George's Old Cave quite exhilarating ...
the fresh air ... the views across the Dales ... unobstructed views all
the way across to the mountains of the Lake District, far away to the
north. Simply beautiful countryside. Please Click the Green Refresh Button NOW
"WAROOOOOMPH" ... a low flying Tornado fighter plane roared directly
overhead, so low that James was sure he could have reached up and
touched it ... touched it that is, if he hadn't had been scared half to
death with the sudden shock of it all.
|
||||||
|
CHAPTER THREE George's Old Cave.
|
|||||
|
Following the river upstream James came upon the small waterfall and
after an easy climb up from the valley without any further intrusion he soon
found the obvious entrance to George's Old Cave.
A tatty-looking painted sign attached to the hut proclaimed the cave had
once been a Show Cave. 'But why had it closed down?' James wondered, 'I
hope it's still safe.'
Small pools of crystal clear water held back by thin walls of calcite
overflowed and washed the formation from top to bottom.
He looked up and saw these tiny silver pouch-like things hanging from
the roof and wondered what kind of stalactites they could be. He climbed
up on a rock for a closer look and got the impression they were moving,
ever so slightly.
A small stream ran along the floor of the cave, playing hide and seek
among the slabs of fallen rock, so it was quite easy to proceed without
getting ones feet wet by stepping from slab to slab .... something that
James had done all his young life among the rock pools at Baycliffe
Island. Ernie had said that the formations in these caves had taken thousands of years to form, as the calcite slowly deposited itself on any suitable surface .... and he had also said that many of the formations in George's Cave had been vandalised by its many visitors .... and it was going to take thousands of years for them to regain their former grandeur.
But these looked okay ... despite the dark stains ... where people had
touched them ... and it certainly was a temptation to touch them ....
they just asked to be touched ... and unfortunately many had succumbed
to temptation ... including our hero. The distant splashing of water caught his attention and he made his way quite easily to the base of a high, yet small waterfall. After all, George's Cave had been open to the public in the old days as a show cave and the footpath was still in fairly good condition ... apart from the odd mangy pieces of semi-rotten wooden walkways which were coated here and there with a thin layer of white calcite, almost like the icing on a cake, and which James learned, at a later date, was called 'cave-ice' by cavers.
The waterfall was novel ... one just doesn't expect a waterfall
underground. The cavern roof had lifted considerably and James could see
the water cascading out of a hole some twenty feet up in the top of the
cavern roof and sort of spreading out into a wide heavy spray by the
time it had splashed down into the turbulent pool at the bottom of the
fall.
Turning back from the waterfall with his head bent to watch for boulders
on the floor James promptly head-butted the lowering roof with his
helmet, such a WALLOP!!
He squeezed upright through the narrow chimney to find himself looking at some pretty stalagmite bosses ... and then suddenly he came nose to nose with a Black Rose disc, yellowed with age and laying upright against a stalagmite boss on the left hand wall ... looking for all the world like it had been there forever.
A black void beyond the stalagmites echoed invitingly ... a cool sweet
draft blew in his face ... enticing the young explorer to venture
further into the unknown darkness.
He leaned forward and tried to see into the void ... but he couldn't see
beyond the stalagmites ... the inky blackness just went on and on into
nothingness, and then some. Sliding carefully forward on his stomach James eased delicately through the small hole into where he could stand up quite comfortably, and the cave could be seen to get even bigger in the darkness. Something white hovered just beyond explanation in the depths of the darkness and as he got nearer James drew in his breath with astonishment. Snow White's Chamber
The passage walls were covered with the purest snow white flowstone. So clean and untouched by human hand that it put everything to shame that he had seen in George's Cave. 'This is what formations should look like' he thought ... and felt suddenly humbled in the presence of such pristine natural beauty.
He looked inwardly for the right words to describe this wonder... white seemed so inadequate. 'Immaculate, yes ... and spotless, certainly, virginal ... bit like me ... but that was a bit too near the mark .... still if he had his wicked way with Penny this evening that would soon change. What do they say about males thinking about sex every few seconds ... it's true.'
Marvellous fragile crystals grew out from the flowstone and the closer
James looked at them the more he thought that this place should stay
secret. It was probably why Black Rose Jed never revealed where it was
in the first place.
A gossamer-thin curtain of calcite chimed like a bell when tapped very gently with a fingernail, and weird and wonderful stalactites hung down from the roof in every conceivable size and shape ... and all immaculately white. James decided to call this cavern Snow White's Chamber, and fully expected to meet the Seven Dwarfs at any moment. The chamber came to an end as it turned into a rather plain stooping passage which continued on for some distance, punctuated by cavities with a green encrustation on the walls.
This proved to be a green ore of copper known as Malachite but it was only a thin crust and as it happens it was only a foretaste for the multitude of colour which was to come. A short hands and knees crawl through a sloping passage brought James into a series of new chambers, a veritable fairyland grotto. The Rainbow Chambers
Multicoloured stalagmites were everywhere and weird and wonderful stalactites hung down from the roof in every conceivable size and shape. James was quite overwhelmed with it all and sat down to take it all in. A host of azure blue-tinted straw stalactites filled the way ahead, probably stained by copper sulphates deposits from the veins of copper ore in the rock.
This chamber was different to Snow White's Chamber, where the formations were attached to the walls, for here they were actually hanging from the roof. The range of colour was staggering. An underground kaleidoscope of rainbow hue. One collection reminded him of strawberry ice cream oozing down from the roof of the cave.
James got up and walked over to a small alcove. All of sudden yet another surprise was in store for the intrepid explorer. Stalactites hanging down from the roof of the alcove were a bright orange colour, reminding James of giant carrots. They even had tiny helictites growing out from the tips, like proper roots. He looked closer to make sure they really weren't roots.
"Well that settles it," announced James, "I name this part of the cave, Carrot Grotto, "may God bless her, and all who sail in her, and save her from any hungry rabbits, but they better be bloody big rabbits," he giggled manically, as he began to feel quite intoxicated with this wealth of adventure and responsibility that had been thrust upon him, and so unexpectedly.
The chamber continued to reveal its secrets in the same magnificent manner through a rainbow assortment of breath-taking formations ... getting more magnificent with every step.
Until, James thought, 'There must be more stalagmites and stalactites here than in all the other caves combined,' and then, the 'piece-de-resistance', a single ruby red stalactite guarded the way out of the chamber into a larger black void. As fate would surely decree ... the clean smooth floor of the passage suddenly ended in nothingness. Pitch black impenetrable nothingness ... and lots and lots of it.
James cautiously approached the edge and peeped over the top of the
chasm ... and saw absolutely nothing but inky blackness. There was very
faint deep rumbling sound like that of distant thunder, but this was
continuous, it didn't stop.
'No wonder people get lost,' he thought, 'I never even saw this cavern
on the way in, I guess I still have a lot to learn about caving,' and
with that thought in mind he eventually found his way back to the
chimney and slid back down into George's Old Cave, making his way out
into the bright sunshine, and the unmistakable smell of rotting
vegetation.
|
|||||
|
CHAPTER FOUR Wine, Women and Song.
|
|||||
|
James bounded joyfully into Ernie's Café and saw Penny sitting at
a table in the midst of a boisterous crowd who all seemed to know one
another.
Actually Penny was inwardly fuming. Zeke was supposed to have been on
some far-flung expedition with the Geology Department at his University
but this had been cancelled at the last minute so he had come up to
Ingleton with her, as they normally did every weekend.
The Ramblers had their own back-room haunt at the pub where Jules could
thrash out the old favourites on his guitar, and everybody joined in,
'Balls to Cravenford Pothole Club' was always a favourite to be sung at
any opportunity.
"Do the girls have nicknames?"
The conversation soon got around to the past exploits of the Ramblers,
of which there were many, and James soon realised that they weren't the
slightest bit bothered about taking the piss out of themselves, and he
figured that this came from their being very good at what they did, and
of having the confidence from knowing it.
"We were going through this pile of boulders, in Quaking Pot," and they all went "Oooooh", shaking their hands in mock horror at this well-named very loose pothole, "and there was this tall rock stood bolt upright like a phallic pillar," Rita continued, "so Tich puts his hand on the top of it to pose for a picture and it ever so slowly tipped over on top of him, and he's trying to stop it doing that, but it's really heavy, and it wouldn't be stopped falling over, so ever so gently it settles down on top of him and he's well and truly stuck, and he's squealing away, not 'cos he's hurt, mind you, but because he can't move, and because Chunky is taking a picture of him, and we'll all pissing ourselves laughing ... God it was funny, but he was lucky, weren't you my little cough-drop?" she said, ruffling his hair playfully, "but you really shouldn't play with large phallic-shaped objects, it doesn't suit you?" and they all laughed at the memory.
"Well at least I have never wet myself because I thought that my friends
had been beamed away by bloody Aliens," Tich retaliated, and they all
laughed again, knowing that this story was one which Rita would rather
forget.
"What? Rita the man-eater?" they all chorused, with delight.
"Valerie won by a wide berth," said Jules wickedly.
"Do you remember that time down Bull Pot of the Witches when Jules came
head to head with the unknown potholer?" Valerie laughed, "and Zeke
talked to him as well."
"I did that today in George's Old Cave," said James, "when this spider
was hanging from the rim of my helmet, and it looked about 2 feet wide,"
he held his hands out in front of his face to demonstrate how big it
was, "I nearly had heart failure."
"Well at least you didn't meet the ghost of George's Old Cave," Spud
laughed, and they all "wooed" menacingly ... shaking their hands
in mock horror to set the stage ...and started laughing again.
Landlady Colleen came in to collect the empty glasses, "Pass them along
to me, handsome," she said to James, causing him to go all red with
embarrassment, and not knowing where to put himself.
The tent wasn't all that big but once Christine had laid the double
sleeping bag out and they were cuddling up together there was room
enough for lovers, especially when they were so close you couldn't get a
film of perspiration between them.
"Then I shall teach you," she offered, "as most men are too concerned
about pleasuring themselves, James, to bother about their partner, but a
women appreciates a considerate man, and an appreciative women can be
such a wonderful lover in return, and believe me, James, you have
the makings of a very considerate man, and a very wonderful lover,
believe me."
|
|||||
|
CHAPTER FIVE Learning to Swim.
|
|||||
|
James woke up with a start ... not having remembered falling asleep ...
and then realised he was cuddling the largest pair of naked breasts he
had ever had the good fortune to come across in all his young life. The
nipples were normal size again, but he knew how to put that right and
started to gently stroke both nipples simultaneously into the erection
their owner had taught him how to achieve only a few hours earlier, and
they responded readily.
"And then we really must go up to Ernie's," she added as an
afterthought, "and meet up with the Happy Ramblers, but not for quite a
while yet, agreed?" but James had already started, and was happily
succumbing to his fate .... the lucky sod.
A brightly dressed loud-spoken woman with an American accent was
extolling the beauties of the Yorkshire Dales to everyone within
earshot.
Christine saw the Ramblers over by the fireplace in their favourite
corner, and waved: "Morning all, how did we sleep after all that ale we
consumed last night?"
"Okay, Ramblers," Spud paused until he was certain he had got everyone's
attention, "seeing as it's such a nice day, I thought we could all go up
the valley for a swim in the Water Hole ... and if we take a rope or two
we can teach young James here the rudiments of caving ... while we
indulge in the more hedonistic pursuits of skinny dipping and beer,
agreed?"
The Water Hole was a magnificent recreation spot for the Ramblers, well
hidden away up a tumbling river bottom, in a deep limestone gorge not far out of the
village, up the Waterfalls Walk. Steep sided cliffs ensured complete
privacy and few people knew about it, not even some the locals and those
who did know about it had to be young and fit enough to climb down the
steep river banks if they wanted to join them and enjoy its benefits.
"Habit, I suppose," said Spud, "it's what we do when we are abseiling to
make absolutely sure that we don't come off the end of the rope still
half way down a pitch, if it doesn't actually reach the bottom of the
drop, that is, because the knot won't go through any of the rappelling
machines."
"They are very, very professional actually. Been at it since 1935, I
think it was? There were four wardens to start with ... Reg Hainsworth,
and Norman Thornber ... the one who did Pennine Underground, the
Potholer's Bible which listed all the known caves at the time .... then
there was Godfrey Wilson, and of course, Tot Lord ... God, he was a
character and a half ... found loads of Roman and pre-historic artefacts
up at Attamire Scar ... some say he used to be Black Rose Jed's mentor,
but of course he was an old man by then and didn't actually go caving
anymore."
"Now-a-days they have a fleet of them and more modern equipment than you can poke a stick at ... times have changed ... and as far as equipment is concerned ... for the better."
"Anyway, enough reminiscing, come on, it's your turn, let's have you
down this rope," he commanded, eagerly looking forward to a swim and a
frolic with the girls.
Spud rudely interrupted his simple pleasure by saying:
"Okay, James, time to learn your first knot for potholing ... the
Blindman's Bowline ... it's an absolutely lifesaver and you must know
how to do it without even thinking."
"And if you want to be doubly sure, you can always take the loose end
back around your waist again then back up and through the loop again and
pull it tight into a Double Bowline ... but the Blindman's Bowline is
usually enough in an emergency."
Spud had a quiet word with Chunky and Tich, "That lad James is a bloody
natural if ever I saw one. Did you see how quickly he picked that up? At
least we know he's reasonably safe and conscientious. Perhaps we should
take him underground tomorrow, a touch of SRT, a bit of laddering, a
quick dip in a sump somewhere, what do you think, might make a good
addition to the Ramblers?" "WAROOOOOMPH"
... they all ducked involuntary as a Tornado roared overhead at tree top
height.
"So, come on James," said Tich, picking up the end of the rope, "let's
have you up this rope, 'cos we are going to take you caving tomorrow,
and you need to know how to do a few things before we actually get you
underground."
'Tich' was a misnomer for a big lad built something like a brick
outhouse, who reminded James of the 'Little John' out of the Tales of
Robin Hood, but he was certainly nimble for his size.
James took to abseiling like a duck takes to water. A couple of early
attempts when he bounced up and down on the free- hanging rope like some
kiddie's Yo-Yo but from then on it was smooth sailing all the way.
Auntie Chris appeared on the cliff top and shouted down, "Got to go home
now, James, are you going to help me pack up my tent and stuff?"
Christine had paused at frequent intervals to let James respond but he
was left speechless, as an hitherto unknown gambit of conflicting
emotion ran riot through his whole body and kicked gaping holes in the
fabric of his newly-found happiness. |
|||||
|
CHAPTER SIX Twins a Go-Go.
|
|||||
|
James walked backed to the café with a weary heart which reflected in
his weary tread. Head down, heart broken, a pathetic individual if ever
there was one. The poor lad was gutted like a Morecambe Bay flat-fish.
The best thing ever to come into his young life had just walked out of
it, pardon me, ridden out of it on a bus actually, to go back to
her husband ... she was married and had a bloody husband.
James pulled himself together, wiped his face dry of tears, and walked
into the café where he saw the Ramblers over by the fireplace in
their favourite corner, upon which he gave them a wave and went up to
the counter to get a mug of tea.
"Bugger me," said Spud to the Ramblers, "will you look at that,"
pointing over at James getting on like a house on fire with the two
Norwegian girls, "here's me, getting myself all fired up to go over and
charm those two new girls into a night of sexual ecstasy, and in waltzes
young James and steals them right from under my nose ... what the hell
has he got that I haven't?"
James spent a very pleasant few minutes telling his very attentive
audience of two all about the Lake District, and how he lived on an
island there, and how it was a pity they didn't have time to visit him
and go bathing on the beach.
"Here you are James, these are our swimsuits for next year's collection
which we did last month," said Ulrike, sliding the large book across the
table, "They are nice, are they not?"
Spud came to his rescue with, "Hey James, we're all going up the Drunken
Duck, and we thought you might want to bring your new friends along?" he
said, hoping desperately to latch on to one of the twins ... hell, he
didn't care which one ... not realising that the twins were one-man
girls, and at that point in time, neither did James, but the twins ...
well, they had already decided who that one man was going to be, and
that was James.
When James finally arrived up at the pub with an attentitive twin
clinging like, some clinging vine, to each arm he found the Ramblers in
their usual back-room haunt with Jules thrashing out the old favourites
on his guitar, with Balls to Cravenford Pothole Club being in there
somewhere, if it hadn't already started the merriment.
"Could I have a pint of Wanker's Best Bitter, Paddy, and girls?" he
turned towards them, still not believing his luck, "what do you fancy?"
asked James.
The next hour was a riot or fun and innuendo as the Ramblers let their
hair down with a vengeance and everybody in the vicinity had a great
time. Everybody in the pub, even the locals, liked the Ramblers,
everyone that is except Paddy Kirtbits, and he could take a long hike as far as
they were concerned, and forget to ever come back again.
The girls sneaked James surreptitiously through the hotel lobby and they
headed upstairs to their room on the first floor, not needing to pick up
a key from reception.
"Take the lot, James, we have plenty more," she said.
Olga returned from the her shower in the bathroom and simply added to
his consternation, and then some.
James quickly finished his shower and came back into the bedroom,
strategically draped in a towel, and who says the English aren't
inhibited, and stopped dead in his tracks.
James woke up with a start
... not having remembered falling asleep ... and then he realised where
he was, all alone in a bed, with the twins in the other bed all wrapped
up in each other's close embrace and he noted that he had no clothes on.
Their passions completely sated they all had a shower and James came
back into the bedroom where he sat on his bed and picked up the
Catalogue.
The twins were quite upset that they did have to leave, and given the
slightest excuse they would have stayed ... but tearfully they said
their goodbyes to James and got into their pre-booked taxi which would
take them up to the Lake District. Ernie's Café
"Has James been in yet," Spud asked Ernie, as the Happy Ramblers crowded
into the café for breakfast.
"Right," said Spud, getting down to business, "we thought we'd take you
down a pothole today, James, and introduce you to some proper vertical
shafts, big holes in the ground, anybody got any suggestions, nothing
too deep, we don't want to scare the 'bejeezus' out of him on his first
trip, we always leave that for the second trip, do we not?" and
everybody laughed.
"Kin' ell, Pauline, that's huge," exclaimed James.
|
|||||
|
CHAPTER SEVEN Giants Hall.
|
|||||
|
"In George's Old Cave," echoed the Ramblers, in unison.
"Look there," insisted Zeke, as they motored up the water-sodden
lane in Tich's long-wheel-base Landrover, which could easily accommodate
the whole crowd of Happy Ramblers, "the bloody ground all around us is
oozing with water coming up out of it ... it's bloody slate I tell
you, the young bugger's on drugs, or he's completely shagged his brains
out over the last couple of days, and has lost the plot completely."
All kitted up and carrying a couple of 200 foot ropes, in spite of
Zeke's reservations, they entered the cave and soon arrived at the
waterfall, whereupon, James' fear of not being able to find the chimney
was fully justified.
The others rapidly followed ... Valerie finding it a fairly tight
squeeze but she had got through smaller than this ... in time to hear
Zeke's fervent apology to James, saying, "Sunshine, you have just
rewritten the book on the geology round here, it's bloody fantastic, I
apologise for being such a dogmatic know-it-all pratt."
"That carrot root stalactite looks more like a mandrake root to me,"
said Zeke, "look, it's got arms and legs, it's weird, and it's lovely,
don't you just love it?" and Penny felt very neglected.
Chunky, Jules and Tich secured the SRT rope over the pitch in such a
manner wherein the rope would not be frayed by rubbing over any sharp
edges, and they had managed to achieve this by finding a natural eyelet
belay high up above the chasm in the roof.
James watched Chunky abseil into the pitch blackness and wished
him well as he slowly but smoothly sank into the abyss.
The others abseiled down one by one to join him in the Giant's Hall, and James, being positioned safely in the middle, about the fifth to descend, found it a thrilling and adrenalin inducing experience.
Abseiling in daylight and abseiling down into pitch black nothingness were two totally different kettles of fish, but he loved every nerve-tingling minute of it. It looked like our James was in danger of becoming an adrenalin junkie.
They all gathered at a convenient cluster of boulders on which to sit
until everyone had arrived. Spud gave James a quick lecture on how this
was a new unexplored cave and there would be many pitfalls awaiting the
unwary explorer.
The waterfall just called out to be climbed as the Upper Stream Passage
was on a par with some Master Caves the Ramblers had explored in the
past. This wouldn't be easy to reach, however, as foot-holes were
somewhat lacking and plans were implemented for someone to throw a rope
over the huge rock at the top of the fall, but it kept washing back down
again.
Standing near to the waterfall was a thrilling experience as the very ground shook with its awesome power, and James could feel this vibrating through his whole body. It made one a little more aware of the raw power of Mother Nature. The cool spray filled the air with refreshing negative ions like some gigantic commercial air freshener and he felt really invigorated and stimulated, and yet he was more than a little overwhelmed at the same time.
Jules solved the problem of getting up the
Meanwhile, back in the main chamber of Giants Hall, a decision was made
that the remainder would explore the downstream passage. The passage was devoid of stalactites or stalagmites and Zeke concluded that the stream must come through here at a much higher rate than it was doing today and quite frequently at times ... in other words he said: "The bloody place probably floods to the roof, regularly."
James was amazed at how clean and smooth the rock was, so shiny and
polished, like best Italian marble, with the constant action of the
water, and, although it looked very dark and forbidding, it was not a bit like the dirty muddy place that most people
imagined when they thought of a cave.
"Okay, who's going swimming then," asked Zeke, "this is a lake or a
sump, got to be one or the other." and he leaned over as near to the
water as he could, without getting wet, and listened intently for the
sound of running water ... but there wasn't any.
"There's no need for everybody to get wet, so you stay here, while I
have a look see," and with that he lowered himself into the clear water
and then he seemed to stumble as he suddenly disappeared out of sight
under the water to re-emerge coughing and spluttering, with complaints
of, "Cold, cold, cold."
"It's bloody huge, but there's no way on, that I can see," Tich's voice drifted over the placid crystal clear water, "there's a short passage, on the right, with the most fabulous formations overhanging the lake, and Chunky is definitely going to want to photograph them, but only a cave-diver is going any further down here, does anyone know what Tony's up to these days?"
Tony being one of the few local caver divers ... the sport of cave diving, despite being an extremely efficient way of finding new cave passages, didn't hold much appeal to most cavers ... for the simple reason that it was a most unforgiving mistress and one mistake and you were dead, drowned, like a rat in a flooded drain.
The big problem being that in an underwater passage there is just no
where to go if anything does go wrong, one can not come up to the
surface to breathe, there isn't any surface. The Ramblers headed back up to Giant's Hall and Penny got out her famous chewy health bars, and shared them around, and they sat comparing notes, waiting for the others to come back from above the waterfall ... and James took it in his head to have another search around the perimeter of the Hall, as he had the idea there was another way out of here.
They didn't have to wait long before the echo of voices mingling with
that of the ever-constant waterfall and the flash of moving lights
appeared above the waterfall. Getting down again with the aid of a rope
was easy and they all gathered round to swop notes on their discoveries.
The Upper Stream Passage had been a terrific exercise in foot-and-back traversing over deep pools, and they all agreed it had been well worth doing, an exciting trip.
Chunky, meanwhile, had climbed the big slope on one side of the Hall and
was looking at a promisingly large passage receding into the distance
when he heard excited shouting, and hurried back down to see what all
the fuss was about.
"It's beautiful," whispered Pauline.
|
|||||
|
CHAPTER EIGHT Down in the Mine.
|
|||||
|
"That shaft is man-made," insisted Zeke, "I know a mine shaft when I see
one, I'm a geologist for goodness sake."
"Okay then, who's going down there to find out, it looks a bit dodgy to
me, all that loose stuff hanging around, waiting to fall off on the
first silly bugger to try it."
He looked around and realised he was standing next to some wooden
railway sleepers, thoroughly rotten, held in place by a thin skin of
calcite which had formed over the years.
The iron railway tracks ran off out of sight into the distance around a
curve in tunnel. if there was anything Zeke
liked better than women it was old mine-workings. Zeke
arrived and went ecstatic with joy as he cast his eyes over an exposed
mineral vein, resplendent in greens and blues.
He sat down to sketch what they had discovered so far and then he set up
shop on a large stone slab and opened his ammo box. Short for
ex-Army heavy duty metal ammunition box which was strong enough to
survive being dropped down a big pitch, although wether or not its
contents would survive was a another kettle of fish. He took out a small
black cloth which he spread carefully over the slab and this was closely
followed by all sorts of weird and wonderful scientific paraphernalia
which he produced with a flourish like some third-rate magician would
produce a rabbit out of a hat.
"That, my love," he extolled, "is a fabulous specimen of copper ore
called Malachite, the bright green monoclinic form of carbonate of
copper,
Cu2(CO3)(OH)2."
"How about these, Zeke," asked Tich, returning with a lump of rock in
both hands, eager to learn if he had found a fortune in mineral wealth.
"Careful," said Zeke, "don't get my cloth
dirty," and carried on, "well, that's some massive Calcite,
CaCO3, pure Calcium
Carbonate, showing some positive indications of double crystal
formation."
"And this is .... the same stuff, Calcite, maybe Aragonite, same formula,
CaCO3, but in tiny crystal form and
it probably formed on the edge of a Gour pool that tended to dry out now
and then and deposit it like this, nice though isn't it, put it in one
of those plastic bags to keep it clean," he pointed to his ammo box, "in
there."
"Oh, now that's very nice, some of the best Fluorite crystals I've seen
in a long while," Zeke informed a delighted Chunky, "note how the
crystals form into cubes, an isometric, transparent though brittle
Fluoride of Calcium, CaF2,
Calcium fluoride, put it in a bag please."
"Hell, and I only thought they were just pretty," said Chunky, in a mild
attempt to take the piss out of his learned friend, "just how do you
remember all this stuff, Zeke baby?"
"Oh, nice one, Val, yes it's the same kind of Fluorite but yours has got
a superb Galena crystal with it. This Galena is Lead sulphide,
PbS, and this is what
the Romans were searching for up on Lead Mines Moss two thousand years
ago, I wonder if they knew about this place? Put it in a bag please, and
if anyone finds a lead ingot with Roman Numerals stamped on it they are
in for a week of sexual ecstasy with yours truly as a reward, except the
lads that is, they only get a pint."
James handed his find over and Zeke gave it a one-word identification, "Crap,"
and slung it over his shoulder into the all encompassing darkness.
"Sorry," he apologised, "Amethyst is a quartz and I don't think you can
get that round here, I could be wrong but I think this is a dark purple
Fluorite, yes it is Fluorite, look, tiny, tiny cubic crystals," he moved
aside so she could have a closer look.
"These are weird Zeke," Jules handed over his find.
"They
certainly are," confirmed Zeke, "I think you've got me here, Jules, they
looks like some Dolomite crystals, Calcium Magnesium Carbonate,
CaMg(CO3)2,
but I doubt it, put them in a bag and I'll get the lads down at the
University to give them the once over."
Spud and James turned up again for another try.
"Now that's interesting, Spud," said Zeke, "Cockscomb Barytes, Barium
sulphate, BaSO4,
so-called because they look like a cockerel's comb, not that I've ever
seen a cockerel close up, but that's what they say, put it in a bag."
"And what have you got there, James?"
"Oh my, that's very nice, it's Azurite the blue monoclinic form of
carbonate of copper,
Cu3(CO3)2(OH)2, like malachite but blue, yes indeed, a very
nice specimen, well done, put it in a bag please."
"What you got, Tich, looks very interesting?"
"Very nice, they look like quartz crystals, all clear and transparent,
but they are Calcite crystals, and absolute belters, put them a bag
please, oh, you have another!"
"Snap, but even better than the first lot, nice big ones."
"I've got a big one of those, but it's brown," Pauline chipped in with
her two pennyworth.
"There's no answer to that," quipped Zeke, " but yours is a Dogtooth
Spar, because it looks like a dogtooth, and this is calcite as well. It
is also a superb specimen, well done, put it a bag please. Anymore for the Skylark, no, all done, where's
James gone?"
James appeared in an excited rush and put his latest offering on Zeke's
black cloth.
"There's no answer to that, either," quipped Zeke, but this is superb,
James, it's Fluorite, same as the purple ones, but this is flawlessly
clear, the only other yellow Fluorite I know of as good as this came out
of a mine up on the Army Firing Range, up near Alston. It got too
dangerous up there, though, what with the Army firing live shells and
all."
Ernie, however, was a bit sceptical about the day's events,
because so many others had told him so many stories that had turned out
to be so much hot air in the end, that he wasn't easily convinced about
anything any more.
Ernie did his best to hide the tear which rolled down his cheek with a
quick wipe of his tea towel, "It's bloody marvellous, I knew I was right
all along, can I have a copy of this, Chunky?"
"Why
was he born so beautiful,
James laughed and knew that he had been accepted as one of them, because
they only ever took the piss out one of their own, and he felt so
honoured to be a Happy Rambler.
"Onward to the Drunken Duck," said Spud.
|
|||||
|
Author's Addendum |
|||||
|
CHAPTER NINE Colleen.
|
|||||
|
He looked into Colleen's beautiful green eyes and could see a hurt that
no smile could erase and he knew that she was a deeply troubled woman,
and his heart went out to her, for he had known such hurt when his
father had died suddenly two years ago, and it came boiling to the
surface and they were united in their anguish, and he put his arms round
her and held her close. "For, he's a jolly
good fellow, He's a jolly good fellow,
Spud moved over for him to sit down but Rita the man-eater beat him to
the punch by saying, "Heh, James, you can come over here and sit with us
girls for tonight, you're our hero, lover boy, isn't he girls?"
"Well, Colleen," he said moving over to the bar, "I gave them two
minutes and there were no offers," he lied, "so I guess I'll have to
take you up on the offer of your bed for the night, if that offer still
stands, that is?" and he smiled as he spoke, reaching out to put his
hand on hers, ever so gently, and she melted at his touch, and they both
felt wonderful.
A voice from behind interrupted them with, "Heh, James I thought you
were going for a wee-wee and I find you chatting up the bar-maid?" It
was Spud, who else?
"Okay girls," ordered Spud, "put James down for a minute, and let's get
down to the serious business of what we are going to do tomorrow,
there's a lot of ground to cover."
The Ramblers nodded their agreement. "So
that's your secret is it?, 'Miss-by-Elaine'
silk knickers," chortled Colleen, when they had the place to themselves.
Colleen took him by the hand and led him upstairs to her bedroom, where
she said, "turn around, James, I'm shy," as she dimmed the beside light
to a mere glimmer, and
slipped into a full length nightie.
James woke up with a start
... not having remembered falling asleep ... and then he realised
Colleen was standing over him with a mug of hot tea, and a beaming
smile.
James walked wearily along the street with his emotions
trampolining up and down in front of him.
Tich was waiting with the Landrover all ready to go and they all piled
in and headed back up to George's Old Cave.
Chunky suggested that Jules, Tich and himself should climb the slope and
explore the large passage he had seen yesterday, while the rest of them
searched every crevice around the walls of the chamber, for some hidden
exit. An easy walk from the top of the slope lead to a large cavern, which Chunky called the High Hall, and although it was impressive in size it was a bit lacking in formations. There seemed to be no way on, even a calcite encrusted inlet high on the wall closed down after a few feet but Chunky took a good photo of Jules who was having a problem on the climb, getting well and truly stuck on a ledge, being unable to go up or get back down.
"Make yourself useful," Chunky told him, "sit down on the ledge while I
take a photo to remember you by," and they laughed, because they knew he
would get himself down again, eventually.
Rita and Penny were sitting on a dry ledge merrily eating chewy health
bars, chatting away about everything and nothing, as women do, and
waiting for the others to catch up with them.
"Come and see this over here," he enthralled, "it's fantastic."
"Where's Valerie?" enquired Rita.
They all agreed this cavern should be called the Ice Hall.
James and Pauline had set off down this walking-height passage which
went on, and on, and on, in a dead straight line, heading in exactly the
direction they had been hoping it would.
The roof was still festooned with them however and they must have been a wonderful sight before they were damaged. The stalagmites on the floor appeared to have escaped relatively unscathed.
The Brokenstal Chamber seemed an appropriate name.
The calcite formations in these Secret Caverns were out of this world
and seemed to continue in ever increasing abundance, and
delighted at this spectacular find, James and Pauline made their way
across to the far side of Brokenstal chamber, looking for an outlet,
Pauline to the right and James to the left, unavoidably crunching broken
stalactites with every step, when a sudden movement caught James by
surprise.
It rose off a partly-made nest, distressed at the lights, no eggs, thank
goodness, and shot off down a small side passage with a scary squawking
noise and a frenzied flapping of its wings.
He crawled into the low tunnel and gave Pauline a running
commentary of his progress. |
|||||
|
CHAPTER TEN Captured. |
|
||||
|
Seeking refuge from prying eyes, James and Pauline crawled back through the drain into the Brokenstal Chamber, and as they prepared to carry on where they had left off, James was thinking to himself, 'A very nice girl, this Pauline, very pretty, I don't know why I never noticed her before, very attractive, especially when she lets her blonde hair down, hair which was all tucked up under her helmet at that moment, why, she looks almost like Baby Spice at times, except Pauline has these gorgeous deep-brown come-to-bed eyes, and boy, can she kiss.'
What he didn't realise at the time was that Pauline was in a very similar situation to the one he had been in not so very long ago, because, despite all appearances to the contrary, and her eager participation in many a hot and steamy snogging session, she had never actually gone all the way, but she had this thing about James, call it love, or perhaps simply infatuation, but she was hoping to rectify the situation with a little help from James, at the earliest opportunity.
With a crash and a bang and a hail-fellow-well-met the other Ramblers
arrived from down the Long Walk, on mass, like so many bargain-hunters
storming a shop on sales day.
Not the best of places to romance someone, this Brokenstal Chamber, and
after much crunching of broken stalactites under foot, and getting bits
sticking into places you didn't even know you had, Pauline threw in the
towel and suggested they wait until they could get back to the comfort
of her tent and a double sleeping bag.
"It would be a good idea to check the roof of this chamber," Pauline
suggested, "seeing as half of it has fallen down already ... 'cos we
don't want to get Henry'd by some of those giant stalactites at this
stage of the game, do we, James?"
"Pauline, up this way," he said, helping her up over the unstable mass until they were standing in a fairly large man-made tunnel, which headed off into the distant gloom. Not that she needed any help, but she quite enjoyed getting the attention, as much as he enjoyed giving it.
A melee of laughing voices told them that the Ramblers had re-entered
the cavern and were looking for them.
They found Zeke on his hands and knees unscrewing a square man-sized
white-painted mesh cover from its metal surround in the passage wall.
The Ramblers set about searching the rooms and made some disturbing
discoveries which showed that this was definitely not government
property.
And ammunition, lots of ammunition, and rocket launchers, the same as
those shown on TV in reports of the Taliban in Afghanistan. |
|||||
|
FIM92A "Stinger", a
passive IR homing surface-to-air
|
|||||
|
The larger room had a desk in the corner, on which there was a radio
transmitter, with the aerial going out through the wall, but none of the
Ramblers could recollect seeing an aerial anywhere near the Steam House
Mansions.
Maps in the desk drawer were of military aircraft flight paths, and
there were photos of Tornados and other aircraft, and leaflets written
in what appeared to be Arabic.
A computer was tucked away on another desk at the far end of the room.
Zeke turned it on and its screen lit up with a picture of a Tornado on a
restricted access web site. |
|||||
![]() Tornado Flight System COMPUTER SYSTEM WARNING
YOU HAVE ENTERED AN AREA FOR AUTHORIZED USE ONLY.
This site is intended to be used by
authorised persons only.
|
|||||
|
|
|||||
![]() YOU HAVE ENTERED AN AREA FOR AUTHORIZED USE ONLY.
This site is intended to be used by
authorised persons only.
|
|||||
|
While all this melee was going on beneath them, James motioned with his
finger to his lips for Pauline to keep quiet, and very carefully and
very quietly replaced the vent cover, without attracting the attention
of the gun-men, who were jabbering away to one another in Arabic.
"MOVE," James ordered Pauline, quietly but firmly, "get the hell out of
here, NOW," he propelled her down the tunnel, "go up into the cave, back
to Giant's Hall, you'll be safe up there, DO NOT GO OUT BY THE DRAIN,
there may be more of them outside on the path, I'll catch you up before
you know what, promise," he smiled reassuringly, crossing his heart.
"Hassan, Nizar, keep your eye on them," Paddy repeated, pointing at the
Ramblers, as he climbed up on the desk and wrenched savagely at the
vent, but it wouldn't budge.
James grabbed the gun and pointed it at Paddy, but Paddy was past
caring, he was quite dead. The stalactite stood bolt upright like some
pre-ordained headstone in a cemetery, pinning Paddy to the floor like a
butterfly in a museum case.
Pauline was waiting impatiently at the bottom of the big pitch, and she
came running over to greet him, and they hugged one another, unashamedly
weeping in relief.
Back in Brokenstal Chamber, Omar found Paddy, and shouted back to Abdul
in Arabic: "Paddy'
dead, and I don't know which way they have gone, we must go back to the
bunker."
Abdul and Nizar returned from the village, empty-handed.
Up on the surface outside George's Old Cave Pauline removed the key to Tich's
Landrover from its favourite hidey-hole, and said, "Okay if I drive?" |
|||||
|
CHAPTER ELEVEN Here Come the Calvary.
|
|
||||
|
The Police Officer on desk duty, one PC Holland, was almost poker
faced, non-committal to say the least, when James and Pauline arrived on
his police station doorstep with a tale of militant terrorists in an
underground bunker who had taken their friends hostage and planned to
shoot down all of our Tornado aircraft.
"I see you have a high security clearance, James," said the Commander,
"and you have already signed the Official Secrets Act for your present
job as a draughtsman on Atomic Submarines, you have just turned
eighteen, you live on Baycliffe Island, alone with your mother, who is
the Warden for the Nature Reserve."
"This is Mister Bond, MI5, "said the Commander, "Military Intelligence
Department Five, who would like to ask you some questions, if that's
okay with you?"
"No," said James, "definitely not, I happen to work on the Nuclear
Submarines and I would certainly recognise a Radiation Logo if I saw
one, we have them all over the place at work ... but...," he paused and
thought, "there was something similar, but it didn't look right,
somehow, it had ... sort of tentacles."
"Yes, that's it," said James, "I thought it was something to do with the
terrorists, I mean it looks, well ... Arabic-looking."
"We have a plan of the Bunker," said Richard, producing a tatty-looking document with the unmistakable smell of it having been stored away in a library drawer for many years, "so if you could indicate where they are likely to be in the bunker, that would help us out no end."
"You already know about the bunker then?" asked James.
"Now, James, you specifically stated that at least two of the Arabs were
Egyptians, if you don't mind me asking, what makes you so sure about
that?"
"The Atomic Power Stations at Heysham, for instance, or the Backbone
Military Communications Masts on a hill-side near the bunker, the
Menwith Hill Satellite Surveillance Station ... the one with all those
huge white golf balls, or Sellafield Nuclear Reactor, but from your
reports it would appear to be the destruction of a large part of our
Tornado fighter squadrons in one fell swoop with synchronised Stinger
missile strikes during their training flights ... now, you've got to
hand it to the one who thought that up ... for its sheer ingenuity and
audacity."
"They are keeping a very low profile but they are all fully kitted up for action and they will most certainly act immediately, but either way, them or us, the terrorists will probably be coming out of that bunker on stretchers."
"Now," said Richard, "I would like to hand you over to the Major in charge of the SAS side of the operation, so he can bring you up to speed on what is required of you, and after that I suggest you get a couple of hours sleep, if you can, so I will wish you well in your venture, and Major, they are all yours."
"Thank you, Mister Bond," said the Major, "hello Pauline, hello James,
pleased to meet you, and just call me Boss, okay?"
|
|||||
|
SAS Weaponry
HK MP5 Submachine Gun
MP5 SD Submachine Gun
SA 80
L2 Grenade
Flash Bang
A Light Kit
M72- Light Anti Tank Weapon (LAW)
|
|||||
|
The Instructor continued: "The squadron on
CRW duty (Counter-Revolutionary
Warfare) must
maintain a Special Projects (SP) group which is on constant alert to
conduct CT/HRT missions (Counter Terrorist/Hostage Rescue Team) on
domestic or foreign soil. An SP team consists of approximately eighty
operators who are commanded by a Major and a Warrant Officer and divided
into two sub-teams - a Red Team and a Blue Team - on a twenty-four hour
stand by for anti-terrorist and hostage rescue operations. The basic SAS
anti-terrorist team consists of about thirty men. The presence of two
teams allows two incidents to be covered at the same time. In the event
of more then two incidents there are contingency plans for other
squadrons to provide teams ... is that clear enough so far?"
"To clear up one or two misconceptions about the SAS, only about one in every twelve soldiers passes the course, the physical requirements being so strenuous, and it's a fact, that, as of today, the teams are entirely male - this is one of the remaining bastions of common sense where excellence in performance is placed ahead of political correctness - though it may not be long before there are females in the ranks, I shouldn't wonder, but they will be there because they could kick the stuffing out of the other male applicants who wanted that job," he smiled, and James figured the instructor had a lady in mind who James definitely wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of, on a dark night, no sir.
"Secondly," he continued, "most people think our SAS cap badge depicts a
winged dagger, but it is in fact King Arthur's sword, Excalibur,
surrounded by flames. The motto 'Who Dares Wins' was born early in the
Second World War, when a British army officer, David Stirling, came up
with the idea of a highly-trained special force which would wreak havoc
on enemy supply lines, bases and morale." "Okay, any questions?" the instructor asked, "all perfectly clear?" he grinned to himself when they nodded, "then I suggest you get a couple of hours sleep, the Leading Aircraftman will show you to the guest quarters, sleep tight, you have a heavy day tomorrow."
Very much to his surprise, James found that the Leading
Aircraftsman was a pretty young lady, "Hi there,
|
|||||
![]() Author's Addendum Please note that no information has been divulged about the Weaponry and Tactics of the SAS, or the Standard Operating Procedures of the RAF, or other Military Organisations, that in any way breaches the Official Secrets Act, or which have not already been made available in the public domain.
WARNING RAF Flying Stations RAF Search and
Rescue Links
|
|||||
|
CHAPTER TWELVE Show Time
|
|||||
|
While the main assault teams gathered around the bunker's main door
awaiting the decision to attack, the plan included sending another
team into George's Old Cave to approach the bunker from above and
behind, within the cave system, whereby they could set up some
surveillance equipment to gather more information on the disposition of
the terrorists, and to cut off any chance of escape in that direction.
This long round-about route was necessary because the valley entrance
through the drain had been blocked off with rocks and the teams had no
way of knowing what would await them if they tried to get in that way.
said, "you need to wear these radiation dosimeters, just clip one in your pocket and we'll check it later to see if there's any radioactivity about ... just to be on the safe side, eh, we can't be too careful with a pretty girl about, can we?" he smiled at Pauline, and she liked it.
Pauline descended the big pitch first, followed by the SAS team and
James was to bring up the rear, his skill at the job having vastly
increased in the last few hours, well, when necessity drives in the form
of gun-happy terrorists, one learns quick, or else the Devil does
take the hindmost.
'I should be that
good,' James thought as he watched.
Pauline greeted him warmly, and after bringing her up to date on the
current events, she casually mentioned how nice it was to be on their
own, at long last, and the SAS seemed to have things well in hand, and
so they could relax, now they had done everything that they could do,
and she gave him a cool-lipped kiss which very rapidly warmed up, and he
thought, 'I like the way this girl thinks,' and reciprocated in kind.
The surface team of MI6, Ops and Special Branch were monitoring what was
going on in the bunker in a very careful and systematic way, because the
politicians wanted to reduce to a minimum the possibility of any
civilian casualties, it didn't go down at all well, on the Evening News,
civilian casualties, one couldn't slap a D-notice on
civilian casualties and make it stick.
Everybody was well pleased with the way things were progressing, and it
showed, and they were perfectly content at the moment to just record as
much of the terrorist's conversations as possible, hoping to get that
one little piece of information that would break the whole network,
worldwide.
The surveillance team started getting some bad news and immediately
alerted the Major to the fact.
The surface assault team of Stretch, Bozo, Tiger and Elvis dealt with
the first iron-clad bunker door in a way which would have amazed James
by its sheer simplicity.
The Method Of Entry team had most certainly excelled themselves this
time, by not only finding the plans of the old bunker, but a spare set
of usable keys, as well.
The Flash Bang is a very effective device for hostage rescue. It emits a
vivid blinding 'Flash' and an extremely loud 'Bang'. The idea being to
completely disorientate the enemy without killing him, or the hostages,
thus giving the SAS time to infiltrate the bunker, by giving them the
extra seconds they may need to neutralize the terrorists, and safely
rescue the Happy Ramblers from their imminent deaths. Meanwhile, in the storeroom, Abdul was just taking the pin out of a grenade, to be used as a booby trap, when the Bang knocked him over and Bozo took him out with one well placed shot, hell, one doesn't spray bullets around a room full of explosives, does one? 3-0 to the good guys. It was going well.
ZERO
- Bozo saw Abdul let go of the grenade, and he watched it tumble to the
floor, in front of him, and he watch the spring- loaded release lever
click open, so he screamed at the top of his voice,
"Grenade."
"So much for a thirty metre killing range," spat
However, the really important thing was that Bozo had prevented the
grenade from exploding in the storeroom where it would have ignited all
the other explosives and then the bunker, and everything in it,
including all the hostages, would have gone up in a cloud of smoke.
In the kitchen, Nizar had recovered from the shock of the explosion and
frantically climbed up through the vent opening, abandoning his
hostages, as his befuddled brain told him that if the Ramblers had got
out into the valley through that passage which he had blocked up with
rocks earlier, then so could he.
The last thing Nizar ever saw was this demonic dark shape that rose up in front of him and a split-second blinding light in his eyes as the quiet thud of sound-suppressed 9mm calibre bullets from Butch's MP5 SD submachine gun killed him stone dead, which made it 4-0 to the good guys, 5-0 if you count Paddy. Tiger had been unable to tackle Nizar in the kitchen because of all the Ramblers staggering around in a shocked state, and he couldn't risk hitting any of them, but Penny told James later that she would never forget the wonderful feeling she had of seeing this SAS hero framed in the brightly lit doorway after Nizar had bolted off through the vent.
The Ramblers were herded up, no time for niceties and were taken out of
the bunker at top speed, as the clean-up squad were wanting to get in
there and start taking the place apart at the earliest opportunity, like
some hoard of hungry locusts.
Sparky got an instruction to tell James and Pauline that they could come
out of the cave now, through the newly-cleared drain entrance in
the valley bottom. The Ramblers were herded aboard coaches and zoomed off to RAF Leeming for debriefing ... before anyone was any the wiser about what had gone on ... and, after all, the locals were used to the odd loud bang of someone out rabbit-shooting ... with a twelve-bore shotgun ... or some caver who was widening a cave entrance with the aid of Hilte Caps, a type of high velocity detonator ... which was used to knock small pieces of rock off the cave wall ... so nobody batted an eyelid ... and even the local crows in the quarry rookery took it all in their stride ... without so much as a raucous "caw" of disapproval.
The Ramblers enjoyed every minute of their time at RAF Leeming, what
with them being the adventurous types who found fun in anything new,
especially the girls, who were suddenly surrounded by hundreds of virile
young men, in uniform.
|
|||||
|
CHAPTER THIRTEEN Home to Baycliffe Island.
|
|
||||
|
James returned to where the lads were sat, all on their lonesome, grouped
forlornly around a table, drinking and talking among themselves, what with
them feeling a bit abandoned like, actually, more than a bit unloved, the
poor souls.
Back in his quarters James was getting undressed for a quick shower,
before getting down to business, when he remembered he was still wearing a
pair of the twin's 'Miss-by-Elaine'
silk knickers, and he thought he had better come clean about why he was
wearing ladies knickers, before Stephanie thought the worst. 'What is it with these things?' thought James, as he stripped off and gave her the knickers, and he stood there stark naked, starting to feel very neglected as he was so very promptly and completely ignored while she revelled in their seductive silkiness, which as he was to learn was one big turn on for her, and he would benefit from it soon enough, oh yes sir, he would certainly benefit, and he didn't have long to wait.
"Okay, James," purred Stephanie, as she flaunted her delightful wares in front of him, wearing only her new 'Miss-by-Elaine' silk knickers, and noticing that he had gone somewhat limp with her lack of attention ... she laughed and pushed him backwards on to the bed and she went straight for the kill with her moist willing lips, and it only took a few seconds before she added, "well now, lover boy, is that a flagpole you're waving at me, or are you just ever so pleased to see me?" James
woke up with a start ... not having remembered falling asleep ... and then
he realised where he was, and it was still dark, and someone, it had to be
Steph, was playing with his pride and joy, and his pride and joy was
quite liking it, and had risen to the occasion.
The best thing about his encounter with Stephanie, was in James now being
able to differentiate between lust, sex, and love, and the indisputable
fact of life that, there was a time and place for everything, and that,
although too little sex gives you horrible ball-ache, too much sex
makes your thingies go all red raw and hurt like hell, and that, you have
to walk around in a very careful bow-legged fashion so as to avoid the
most excruciating pain, and that, silk knickers and an ice-bag are two of
life's essentials ingredients, at times like these.
James had limped to the reception area, with the other happy Ramblers, waiting for the coach to take them back to Ingleton, having said his goodbyes to a tearful Stephanie, when an orderly came up to him and said: "If you would like to follow me sir, the Commander would like to see you."
"Hello, James," said the Commander, "some good news, there is an exercise
currently planned for the RAF Search and Rescue helicopters, this weekend,
between the 202 Squadron at RAF Leconfield in North Yorkshire, who
normally cover the North Sea area, and with 22 Squadron at RAF Valley on
the Isle of Anglesey in North-West Wales, who normally cover the Irish Sea
and who is the parent unit for the Search and Rescue Training Unit who
train all the SAR crews for the RAF."
"And we will make another one up for you, as well, how about a Desert
Beret and some Sabre Wings," another nod at the orderly who scurried off,
"meanwhile we have made arrangements to take all of your friends and
yourself back to Ingleton, and we have made arrangements to let Ernie know
when we will be arriving in the helicopter to take you home, and ...
what else was there ... oh, yes ... Tich's Landrover is parked in the
Ingleton Community Hall Car Park, by courtesy of PC Holland, okay?" Ernie's Café The Ramblers poured into Ernie's Café
and were set upon by Ernie and Janine who wanted a blow by blow account of
what they had been up to, especially as not one word of their exploits had
made public - MI5 wanted to keep other terrorists in the dark - and that
is why Spud simply said, "We've been helping the Army out on some
hush-hush manoeuvres but we are not allowed to say what, Ernie, although
it was fun while it lasted," the Ramblers groaned at that, then had a
rethink, 'yes it was fun,' and Spud continued, "and you would have loved
it, but I don't think they will be inviting us back again," and the
Ramblers all laughed at that, "seems we are a bit too macho for them ...
especially the girls?" and he ran off to the toilet, laughing, before he
was lynched by the mob.
They all piled into the pub and an older male and an unknown, but somehow
very familiar-looking, very attractive young lady smiled at them from
behind the bar, "Hello, Happy Ramblers, I was told that you lot would be
arriving sooner or later, I'm Maureen, pleased to meet you, and this is my
dad, Shawn."
In the back room, James took the offered envelope, and made to put it in
his pocket, but Maureen said, "Colleen said for you to read it straight
away, while I was here, I don't know why."
'Colleen's niece, that explains why she looks so familiar,' thought James, 'except Maureen,' he looked at her intently, and she blushed, demurely, 'she is nice, but she has these gorgeous deep brown eyes, and Colleen's eyes were green.'
"Have you read this, Maureen?" asked James, suddenly aware that his
intense staring was causing her embarrassment.
"The weekend passed uneventfully, a little caving, a little drinking, a little consoling of the girls who were still moping after losing their RAF conquests, a little sleeping with ...... ask no questions get told no lies, a little sunbathing down at the Water Hole to soothe away the aches and pains, and a great deal of seeing Maureen at every opportunity, however this didn't go beyond a lot of looking longingly into one another's eyes and an occasional very sweet kiss. All too soon, the 'woof-woof' of low-flying helicopters signalled the end to his holiday, and bidding a very fond farewell to all his new friends, and promising to be back next weekend, he gave Maureen a sweet young lover's kiss and climbed aboard his lift home, waving from the tiny window as they headed down the valley and out over the wide expansive sands of Morecambe Bay, and his island home, way off on the distant horizon.
James' mum heard the helicopters flying overhead and came out with Tornado
for a closer look as they had never flown this close before.
Ducking low under the rotor blades they walked towards the bungalow, James
laden down with a huge goodies bag of souvenirs in each hand, the
Commander holding on to his cap, and they were promptly set upon by a
whirlwind of excited barking dog who threatened to knock then both down.
Monday morning and back to the drawing board had a hollow ring to it as
James came into the office, a few minutes late, and was immediately
greeted by ...
'I can hardly wait for when that Lingerie and Swimsuit Catalogue arrives and they get an eyeful of Olga and Ulrike,'' James smiled to himself in eager expectation, 'and it's almost time for Penny on her morning round,' he mused, as she had expressed a definite wish to continue their cupboard rendezvous before he had left Ingleton, 'now this is going to be get very interesting, to say the least.'
The End Or perhaps not.
|
|||||
THIS BOOK WAS POSTED FREE
SO
PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR
This site is sponsored by Worldwide
Aromatiques UK who supply
Essential Oils & Health Supplements by Free Delivery Mail-Order in the UK
If you are fed up with living in a
country that is no longer your own?
| THEN CLICK ON WELCOME |
|
|
Please make enquiries to Ged (Jed) on 01535 212 971
|
|